How To Find A Date in An Entire Semester
our formal is coming up at the end of this semester, and as one might be able to guess, no one has a date and everyone is fighting over the best frat guys.
ew.
I can't believe I just used the word best and frat guys in the same sentence.
So, maybe there is like, one frat guy worth taking.
and I said maybe, and thats only because
a. I don't know all of them that well.
b. I'm pretty sure they all suck.
They aren't that attractive,
I'm pretty sure they are RIDDEN with more STDs than Lindsay Lohan's dildo
and to top it all off
they think they are the shit.
news flash frat boys.
you aren't.
I hate to break it to you, but if your life peaks here? ouch. But it probably will.
The keg stands you do every party? When your metabolism slows down its going to catch up with you.
and so will your slowly receding hairline.
oh MAN I can't wait to see some of you in a few years.
Think you are hot shit? How about when after all the hookups and random girls catch up to you and you end up sterile because of some nasty STD
you aren't.
I hate to break it to you, but if your life peaks here? ouch. But it probably will.
The keg stands you do every party? When your metabolism slows down its going to catch up with you.
and so will your slowly receding hairline.
oh MAN I can't wait to see some of you in a few years.
Think you are hot shit? How about when after all the hookups and random girls catch up to you and you end up sterile because of some nasty STD
or worse... heaven forbid.
you end up to father to some half brain idiot child accident (hmm... why does that sound so familiar for you? geee....)
get real.
get studying.
and get ready for the real world which does not include "anything but clothes parties" and drunk chicks with their mouths open.
anyway.
as girls cat their ways around, trying to scope out a date, I look on and laugh.
I've had a date since last semester. oh the benefits of having guy friends outside our school.
the worst is how much this whole formal seems to freak everyone out.
it reminds me of highschool, when it got to be spring, and it was "dance" season, our tiny california highschool looked more like one of those jungle scenes in mean girls.
for real.
cat fights in the quad, bitching behind each others backs,
oh I can almost SMELL the betrayal and cheap corsages.
one girl is straight up STALKING a guy that turned her down, and its getting really creepy. yes, facebook may be a convenient way to keep in touch with your friends, but when you are on the same persons page, seeing who they talk to, lurking on their pictures all the while texting them and constantly obsessing?
you've gone a LITTLE too far.
and yes, I'm talking to you.
he doesn't want to go to formal with you. just because you guys had sex last semester, doesn't mean he likes you. and his excuse is weak, half assed and obvious.
you got rejected.
now get over him.
another girl is too nervous to ask a guy she likes, so she's decided that spreading the word that she likes him to all his frat brothers and/or convincing one of us to ask him to formal for her is the best idea.
yeah.
thats a great idea.
if you were 11.
guess what.
you are fucking 20 years old.
now act like it.
I'll be stoked when formal is over.
get real.
get studying.
and get ready for the real world which does not include "anything but clothes parties" and drunk chicks with their mouths open.
anyway.
as girls cat their ways around, trying to scope out a date, I look on and laugh.
I've had a date since last semester. oh the benefits of having guy friends outside our school.
the worst is how much this whole formal seems to freak everyone out.
it reminds me of highschool, when it got to be spring, and it was "dance" season, our tiny california highschool looked more like one of those jungle scenes in mean girls.
for real.
cat fights in the quad, bitching behind each others backs,
oh I can almost SMELL the betrayal and cheap corsages.
one girl is straight up STALKING a guy that turned her down, and its getting really creepy. yes, facebook may be a convenient way to keep in touch with your friends, but when you are on the same persons page, seeing who they talk to, lurking on their pictures all the while texting them and constantly obsessing?
you've gone a LITTLE too far.
and yes, I'm talking to you.
he doesn't want to go to formal with you. just because you guys had sex last semester, doesn't mean he likes you. and his excuse is weak, half assed and obvious.
you got rejected.
now get over him.
another girl is too nervous to ask a guy she likes, so she's decided that spreading the word that she likes him to all his frat brothers and/or convincing one of us to ask him to formal for her is the best idea.
yeah.
thats a great idea.
if you were 11.
guess what.
you are fucking 20 years old.
now act like it.
I'll be stoked when formal is over.
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